'How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And ithe tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, jstaining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life,1 and set on fire by hell.2 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, kfull of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people lwho are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,3 these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.'
James 3:5-12
Convicted? Yeah, I am too... Especially after this weekend. There is some really powerful stuff up there. My journey in James started about a week ago. Up until then, I'd been just poking through different books, enjoying what I was getting from the OT preparing people for Jesus and being in awe of the NT with all that Jesus does and teaches us. For some reason, after a long day, the book of James just sort of popped into my head. I turned, started reading, and started feeling pretty crappy. I mean, who hasn't given into temptation, to that desire? Shortly and sweetly, James has handed me a magnifying glass and I'm seeing quite a few imperfections that need to be buffed out.
Yesterday was a busy day to say the least. Family reunion, Dynamo game, Devin's birthday, Mike's homecomming. I found myself driving home being thankful I could make all of it happen. I mean, I'd accomplished a lot in a day, kudos to me making everyone happy... for there not to have been tears or to have ended up in a massive fight saying many cutting things was really difficult... oh wait... that did happen.
Mom and Garrett came in Thursday as did the condescending side of me. Friday... same... Saturday... family reunion... same... Sunday... same. And now I sit here frazzled and tired. That person that I was all weekend has exhausted my soul... that part that should be patient, loving, kind. So, in the great way that God reveals scripture to us of course I end up reading this portion of James. Ouch. The part that is patient, loving, and kind comes so naturally except for when I'm around the people I should love the most and when I think about it, need to be loved the most. How does that work? My lack of patience with my family is astounding.
The tongue is full of deadly poison, blessing our Father and cursing people made in the likeness of God. (paraphrased). Well yes, that was what my tongue was this weekend. Whether it be gossiping about that family member, rolling my eyes because they don't agree with the church I go to, telling my brother he's dumb for the decisions he makes, griping at my mom because she didn't tell me the right church to go to... I'm doing that to and about people made in the likeness of God. People that Christ loves. People that he died for.
And it goes even deeper than that. It's not just about what I say to my family. It's my every day speech. From the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. Do I have a dualistic tongue? Do I reach out to people that have a need? Do I have kind words? Do I give fresh water or salt water? Do I sugar coat the truth and then write it off as trying to be accepting of the world? I'll leave you to think and answer about yourself. I already know my answer.
Our tongue has deadly poison. I'm thinking of a snake right now, forked tongue, fangs, curled and ready to strike. My tongue is the same. It can pack a powerful punch to anyone if I know how to use my words correctly. It can build up, it can tear down. It is something I need to work on, mainly with my family, but with others too. It's also something I should feel guilty about... but even after writing all of this, I don't. It's actually really frustrating because every time I see my family I think 'I need to make sure to be nice' and then don't. It's too easy to get frazzled. My thought process: explaining how to close a garage door is not something that's on my list of things to be nice about. If you can't figure it out, you're dumb and I'm not sure how you made it this far in life. Same with pumping gas. If you need step by step instruction, I'm not going to be nice because you're an idiot. Use the mind you have and think for yourself, it's too exhausting for me to think for the both of us.
Two problems: I shouldn't think that, let alone voice it. It's not nice. How often did Jesus (even if you're not thinking of him as the son of God but as just a good teacher) look at people and shake his head at their incomprehension and then in love continue to teach them and make them see? Every time. He never let his tongue run rampant and he never lost patience. Good thing too, otherwise I'd be using that as my first defense. Instead... it's my job to love. To show patience. To take a deep breath and explain to push the little gray button outside the garage door and it closes on its own and to do that with a humble heart remembering how dumb and stupid I've been and continue to be. And most of all, to remember how loved I am by Christ... that while I was still dumb, blind, deaf, and sinful, Christ died for me and continues to do so every day without ever grumbling.
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